"Nature didn’t just keep me alive; it reconnected me with the essence of who I am, and the life my soul came here to experience."
The deadline for the Wild Muse Nature Writing Prize is thirteen days away! As we count down, I want to share a place I’ve reached in my own relationship with the natural world.
Over the last few weeks, the thought ‘Nature has saved my life’ kept arising in my mind. As I sat with this, I realised it didn’t refer to the preservation of my physical existence, or the continuation of the life I was already living; instead, this thought expresses how nature has awakened me to a deeper, more authentic existence – the true path my soul is meant to follow.
Up until this point, whilst my body was surviving, I was disconnected from my true self. Nature didn’t just keep me alive, it reconnected me with the essence of who I am, and the life my soul came here to experience.
IT’S INCREDIBLY COMMON FOR us to disconnect from our true self as a coping mechanism, or survival strategy, we develop in response to the conditioning we receive throughout our life. This conditioning can actually teach us to fear and reject who we truly are, convincing us that embracing our authenticity might lead to negative consequences, such as being judged, ostracised, or even struggling financially.
In order to protect ourselves from these perceived threats, we learn to supress our inner nature and conform to the expectations of others. We believe this is the safer, more acceptable way to navigate the world. What starts as a form of protection, eventually becomes a prison because we’re living a life that’s not fully our own. We’re trapped by the unnatural roles and identities we’ve adopted to survive. We’re confined by walls that tell us who we should be, how we have to act, and what success looks like. Over time, our true essence gets buried deeper and deeper.
It's easy to be afraid of changing, or to forget there’s a life beyond these walls – the life our soul came here to live. We’re an ungerminated seed, unable, or afraid, to grow into the one we came here to be.
Nature can save that life by ensuring it happens. The natural world can enable us to unlock the prison doors, so that we burst through our protective husk and grow into a life that feels expansive, authentic, and deeply fulfilling. The confines of the false, unnatural self, which once seemed like the only reality, crumble as we reclaim our true identity, and the freedom to live as our soul intended.
THE NATURAL WORLD OFFERS us profound lessons in remembering and reconnecting with our true nature, stripping away the layers of conditioning that distort our perception of ourselves and others. One of my earliest experiences of this came on a Vision Quest I took a decade ago in a forest in France.
One of the purposes of a Vision Quest is to spend time in nature so that we can discover how to see beyond the surface of our manufactured, unnatural life. My intention was to reconnect with a deeper sense of self so I could work through the differences between my partner and me. I worried we were holding each other back, unsure whether we were truly compatible, yet unable to bear the idea of being without him.
For some time, I watched a beetle crawling along the forest floor, seeing the detail of how it moved its six legs, alternately lifting and extending each limb in a coordinated pattern. It toppled from a twig and then continued. As I considered helping it over a particularly steep chunk of bark, it made me aware of why I’d felt so inauthentic around my partner recently: I was trying to work through our differences by fixing him. Just as a part of me felt a queasy kind of terror at the sight of this beetle, it was also clear how I’d been judging my partner for his habits of smoking and not exercising, trying to cajole him into a healthier way of being with underhand comments and passive-aggressive behaviour.
Nature is a perfect mirror. I could see this obvious example of my conditioned mind, which had learned to fear, judge and manipulate in an attempt to feel secure and in control. I was keeping an eye on the beetle, sensing the rumbling disgust within me, my mind adamant it didn’t like what it saw. I wasn’t observing with compassion and curiosity, but keeping vigilant watch on the bug to be sure of where it went. This was easy to justify – I didn’t want it crawling up my trouser leg – but regardless of how apt the justification, it was still just a story of something that might happen.
No wonder I’d been living in such tension at home! I’d been judging my partner’s every move, watching him climb through life with a sneer that said, ‘You’re a disgust to me.’ How could I have gazed at a person with such a toxic verdict?
I begged the forest for a new perspective, to no longer be this person.
How much time passed?
Enough for me to realise that in my begging lay my powerlessness. Only in owning that I was the creator of all this, would my incapacity be shed.
And then, like a rainfall of energy, I was bathed in understanding and love for the beetle and this infinite curiosity for its journey. A glow of wonder stirred at how these microscopic legs allowed the beetle to crawl across leaves, the stem of that plant, and those chunks of soil. I couldn’t deny a rousing awe that was replacing my revulsion. I could now witness how the beetle’s shell caught the light so its supposed dull, black appearance turned silvery blue and a light-filled green. What were my partner’s gems beyond the flaws I seemed to fixate on?
I smiled in wonder at how I could be filled with such a feeling of love, allowing tears to fall down my face.
THE NATURAL WORLD, in its stillness and simplicity, offers a space free from distractions and the expectations of society, enabling us to confront our conditioned mind. That day, the beetle’s persistence, its small yet purposeful movements, and its presence in the natural order of things, revealed a truth I’d forgotten: life, in all its forms, has its own inherent value and beauty.
Nature doesn’t demand change, or offer judgement. It simply exists, inviting us to do the same.
As I let go of the need to fix the beetle (and my partner!) to feel secure and in control, I reconnected with a sense of compassion, curiosity, and wonder – qualities that are a core part of our, often disregarded, true nature.
This shift from judgement to acceptance, from fear to love, was the key that began to unlock the prison of my conditioned mind. It didn’t all happen overnight, but it did start me on a healing journey – with nature as my guide – that would gradually enable my true self to geminate.
Nature has a way of revealing the deepest truths. In the stillness of the wild we can find wisdom and healing. Perhaps you have a story to share on the transformative power of nature?
Whether it’s a moment of clarity, a profound shift in perspective, or the quiet healing nature offers, your story can inspire others to reconnect with their true selves through the magic of the natural world.
Find out more and submit your entry via the offerings section below.
As always, wishing you creative contentment.
Gabriela, tree goddess.
Offerings
In this section you’ll be able to hear about my offerings and events.
1: ENTER THE WILD MUSE PRIZE
Let your words become part of a collective healing journey!
The prize invites personal stories, articles and essays that explore our relationship to the natural world.
2: JOIN ME THIS WEEK FOR MY ONLINE WORKSHOP
‘Chakra Yoga: Writing from the Body’ takes place on Thursday 5th September at 6.00pm.
We’re exploring the theme of 'SELF-ACCEPTANCE' and the workshop will offer a nurturing blend of gentle movement, breathwork, affirmations, and reflective journaling, specifically focusing on balancing the Root and Heart Chakras.
Discover how grounding and loving yourself can unlock new levels of creativity, clarity, and fulfilment.
As a subscriber to Wild Muse, you can receive 75% off this first class by using the code Taster at checkout.